Midnight SearchPsalm 127:2

The Leaflet in the Box

This message is for reading the side effects leaflet at midnight and searching every one of them, until you cannot decide whether to take the tablet in the morning

You unfolded it because you always do, and it was longer than the last one.

The common ones were fine. You have had two of them before and they passed in a week. It was the section further down that got you, the one that begins with the word rare, and you read the whole of it standing at the counter with the box in your other hand.

Then you searched three of them.

The first search gave you a forum. The second gave you a medical page that used the phrase has been reported, which you have now read about nine times trying to work out how often reported means. The third gave you something written in another country with different guidance entirely.

It is twenty to one and there is a tablet on the counter and a glass of water beside it, and you have not taken it, and you have not put it away.

That is the actual situation. Not a research problem. A tablet, a glass, and a woman who cannot do either thing.

And you know, standing there, that whichever way this goes tonight, you are not the person who should be making this decision at twenty to one on your own.

What this page will not do

I am not going to tell you whether to take it. I have not seen your notes, I do not know what else you take or why this was prescribed, and a page that advises anybody about their medication is doing something genuinely dangerous.

I am going to tell you where the answer is, because it is closer than you think.

Ring a pharmacist. Tomorrow, or tonight if there is a service where you are, because many places have one that runs late. That is precisely what they are for: a pharmacist will tell you, in about four minutes, how often rare actually means, whether the ones you have found are relevant to you, and what to watch for. They do it all day. It is written, in Psalm 127:2, and the Holy Spirit is the one who takes what is written off a page and into a life.

Or ring the surgery in the morning and say the plain sentence: I have read the leaflet, these three worried me, is this the right medicine for me.

And do not stop a prescribed medicine on the strength of a leaflet and a search, because stopping some things abruptly is more dangerous than any of the rare items on that list. That is the one piece of hard advice on this page.

You are not being difficult by asking. Scripture says if any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not, James 1:5, and the asking is commended rather than tolerated, and the Holy Spirit is standing in that kitchen at twenty to one with a woman holding a box.

The verse is about the hours you are spending

There is a line in Psalm 127 that describes your evening better than anything else in the book.

It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.Psalm 127:2

To sit up late. That is the phrase. And the verdict on it is vain, which does not mean wicked; it means it does not achieve the thing it is being done for.

The person in that verse is not lazy. They are working extremely hard, at both ends of the day, out of anxiety. And they are being told, gently, that the outcome was never resting on those hours.

Now look at what you have actually produced tonight. Three searches, one forum, one page from another country, and a phrase you have read nine times. Nothing has been decided. Nothing has been learned that a pharmacist would not tell you in four minutes. Scripture settles that in Psalm 127:2, and the Holy Spirit is the one who carries it rather than these words.

The hours have been real and the yield has been nothing, and that is exactly what the verse is describing.

You are not achieving anything by sitting up with this. Scripture says it is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, Psalm 127:2, and vain is a judgement about the outcome rather than about the person, and the Holy Spirit is not asking anybody to earn their safety with a night.

Why the list frightens you and the doctor's judgement does not

Here is something worth knowing, because it will change how you read every leaflet from now on.

A patient information leaflet is not a risk assessment. It is a legal document. It lists everything that has ever been reported by anybody taking that medicine, including things that later turned out to be coincidence, because leaving one off carries a liability that including it does not.

That is why the list is long and why it has no sense of proportion in it. It is not trying to tell you what is likely. It is trying to be complete.

Your prescriber did the other job. They weighed what this is for against what it might do, in your specific case, knowing your history, and concluded it was worth it. That judgement is not in the box, which is why the box feels so much more frightening than the appointment did.

So the leaflet has not given you new information about your risk. It has given you a complete list with no weighting, at midnight, with no one to ask.

You are not seeing this in proportion and the document was not built to help you do so. Scripture says God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind, 2 Timothy 1:7, and a sound mind is the faculty a weighted judgement requires, and the Holy Spirit is at work in a woman at a counter who has lost her sense of scale to a piece of folded paper.

What twenty to one is doing

One more thing, and it is the reason not to decide tonight either way.

Nobody's judgement is good at twenty to one. That is not a comment on you; it is a fact about human beings and it is why hospitals have handover protocols and why nobody signs contracts at midnight.

Whatever you decide at this hour, you will decide it with the frightening list at full volume and the doctor's reasoning at almost none, because the list is in your hand and the reasoning was three weeks ago in a room.

So the correct decision tonight is neither to take it nor to abandon it. It is to stop deciding, and to move the decision to an hour when somebody qualified can be part of it.

You are not required to resolve this before morning. Scripture says weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning, Psalm 30:5, and the same facts sit differently at two different hours, and the Holy Spirit is the one who holds a person through the hour when everything is at its largest.

The breakthrough

Nothing here tells you what to do with the tablet.

What changes at twenty to one is that you stop deciding.

Fold the leaflet and put it back in the box. Not in the bin, because you may want to point at a line of it tomorrow. Back in the box, folded, so it is not on the counter.

Write down the three things that worried you, and the pharmacy number, and put both where you will see them.

Then leave the tablet and the glass where they are and go to bed. In the morning, before you decide anything, ring and ask. Four minutes with somebody qualified will do what four hours has not.

And when you have asked, take it or do not take it on the basis of a conversation with somebody who knows, rather than on the basis of a document written to be complete.

You are not going to be kept safe by a night, and the sleep was always the thing on offer. Scripture says so he giveth his beloved sleep, Psalm 127:2, and the Holy Spirit has been in this kitchen since the box was opened, without one opinion about how carefully you read.

Declare this over yourself

Say these out loud, quietly, in the kitchen. You are in Christ and Christ is in you, so the standing to speak was given to you and a frightening list does not withdraw it. Scripture carries every line here and the Holy Spirit brings them the distance. Nothing here decides anything about your medicine; He answers in His own way and the outcome is His, and however He answers, none of it is a verdict on you.

  1. Deciding I have been doing at midnight about a thing I am not qualified to decide, you are not care and you are not staying. The Word of God says it is vain to sit up late, and in the name of Jesus I move this to an hour when somebody who knows can be part of it.
  2. Frightened reading of a list, get out of this house. Scripture says God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind, 2 Timothy 1:7, and the Holy Spirit has never once asked me to weigh a risk on my own at twenty to one.
  3. Lord, the sleeping is what You give and the sitting up is what You call vain, and You have been in this kitchen since the box was opened. The leaflet is folded away, the number is written down, and I am asking somebody qualified in the morning.

Why we ask you to say these out loud

The word this stands on

Psalm 127:2

This message is free, and always will be. There is nothing to unlock, nothing to subscribe to, and nothing you owe for having received it.

More Manna

Psalm 51:6
Midnight Search

A Thing I Would Not Search in Daylight

Midnight Search11 minZev
Psalm 51:6
Psalm 55:22
Midnight Search

He Told Me Not to Worry About It

Midnight Search11 minMelody
Psalm 55:22
Psalm 139:11-12
Midnight Search

I Am Looking for the Name of It

Midnight Search11 minNova
Psalm 139:11-12
Psalm 4:8
Midnight Search

The Appointment Is Already Booked

Midnight Search11 minCaleb
Psalm 4:8
Psalm 139:12
Midnight Search

The Night Shines Like the Day

Midnight Search12 minJubilee
Psalm 139:12
Psalm 3:5
Midnight Search

The Noise It Made on the Hill

Midnight Search10 minElias
Psalm 3:5
Psalm 116:7
Midnight Search

The Numbers That Are Not About Him

Midnight Search10 minTahoma
Psalm 116:7
Psalm 143:8
Midnight Search

The Phrase in the Letter About the Estate

Midnight Search11 minSantiago
Psalm 143:8
Psalm 139:11-12
Midnight Search

The Tab I Closed at 12:38

Midnight Search8 minAmir
Psalm 139:11-12
Psalm 121:3-4
Midnight Search

The Word He Used in the Room

Midnight Search11 minEliana
Psalm 121:3-4
Psalm 130:5-6
Midnight Search

What It Means That They Have Not Rung

Midnight Search10 minImani
Psalm 130:5-6
Ecclesiastes 3:4
Read Enough

Checking Whether Mine Is Normal

Read Enough11 minJubilee
Ecclesiastes 3:4
Psalm 119:114
One Word

A Verse for Every Scenario

One Word10 minZariah
Psalm 119:114
Hosea 6:3
Knowing Him

A Stranger to the Author

Knowing Him11 minZev
Hosea 6:3
Isaiah 30:21
Too Many Voices

All of Them Are Godly

Too Many Voices10 minJubilee
Isaiah 30:21
Psalm 77:2-3
Beyond Search

A Dread With Nothing in It

Beyond Search10 minMelody
Psalm 77:2-3
Micah 6:8
Light Enough

A Standard Nobody Could Meet

Light Enough10 minCaleb
Micah 6:8
Psalm 32:8
Read Enough

Looking for a Story That Matches Mine

Read Enough11 minNova
Psalm 32:8
Deuteronomy 31:8
One Word

Forty Saved and None of Them in Me

One Word11 minEliana
Deuteronomy 31:8
Matthew 11:28-29
Knowing Him

Eleven Years of Telling Children

Knowing Him11 minEliana
Matthew 11:28-29
John 10:3-5, 27
Too Many Voices

Eleven Tabs and One Shepherd

Too Many Voices8 minElias
John 10:3-5, 27
Job 38:4
Beyond Search

I Do Not Want the Answer

Beyond Search10 minZev
Job 38:4
Matthew 11:30
Light Enough

Eleven Years of Notebooks

Light Enough10 minAmir
Matthew 11:30
Isaiah 26:3
Read Enough

So Nobody Can Say I Did Not

Read Enough11 minImani
Isaiah 26:3
Lamentations 3:22-23
One Word

I Asked for a Word for the Year

One Word10 minNova
Lamentations 3:22-23
John 15:15
Knowing Him

I Can Defend Him to Anybody

Knowing Him10 minAmir
John 15:15
Proverbs 11:14
Too Many Voices

Everybody Has a Stake in This

Too Many Voices10 minEliana
Proverbs 11:14
Psalm 71:17-18
Beyond Search

I Think the Good Part Has Happened

Beyond Search11 minImani
Psalm 71:17-18
Psalm 68:19
Light Enough

Every Generation Left Me Something

Light Enough10 minSantiago
Psalm 68:19
Psalm 62:5
Read Enough

The Choice That Was Never Mine

Read Enough11 minEliana
Psalm 62:5
Jeremiah 15:16
One Word

I Can Exegete It in Four Minutes

One Word10 minZev
Jeremiah 15:16
John 10:14
Knowing Him

I Can Prove He Is There

Knowing Him10 minNova
John 10:14
John 10:27
Too Many Voices

Four Good Men, Four Answers

Too Many Voices10 minAmir
John 10:27
Psalm 56:8
Beyond Search

It Does Not Fit What Happened

Beyond Search10 minNova
Psalm 56:8
Psalm 46:10
Light Enough

Everything I Know About What Is Wrong

Light Enough10 minNova
Psalm 46:10